III. Oasis D'Amour
III. Oasis D'Amour
Romance Plucked from Insanity's Edge...
Spinning wheels.
That’s all it seemed anyhow. Not that she didn’t enjoy the time spent with that strange yet loving couple, but Valentina couldn’t help the urge to walk the thousand miles back to her dreaded Haven of civilization. Days dragged on, and for all the comfort and affection Marcus and Sabina could spare their guest, they too realized they were getting nowhere by recuperating in perpetuity.
One golden morning, Marcus walked Val out to the Humvee, the red wolven gentleman patting her beast on the hood, his unbuttoned shirt bellowing in the cool breeze.
“I’ll keep stewing,” he said softly, thumbing the ride’s fender, “Go’on and give yourself some space. Come back ho—”
He caught himself, shying away with that schoolboy innocence of his. Val smiled gently.
“It’s as good a place to call home as any.”
Marcus perked up as he held his sister-in-arms tight.
“We’ll find it, I just know we will. We’re just missing a little piece of the puzzle, that’s all.”
Val nodded and clambered up into the mighty steed.
“I’ll be coming back. With any luck, maybe with some of that piece too.”
Marcus patted the Humvee once more before walking back to the house, leaving the white wolf to pull away into the wild once more.
The drive came as a great relief. Blue sky kissed the beige upon which she rode, her powerful companion well in hand as he rambled on. Cacti, colored a weathered green, peppered the land, the spectral custodians of life standing idle in the desert sun.
Her mind turned to the matter of her hunt, the damned crusade that had stalled so. She felt the restlessness of her wandering soul, the torment that wracked dear Marcus, and the sensitive love of his dearest Sabina. She felt it all, and all of it clouded her mind.
Should I even get ‘em involved? They been fending alright by themselves. And Lord knows I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to Marc. He’s just...dammit, I wish he was reined in is all. Someone put a lasso on that mind of his and pull it back to port. Someone put a lasso on mine, too.
Lower the throttle descended under her sandalled paw, her mind growing lost in the cavalcade of thoughts. Slowly, her vision grew marred by the haze of static, the kind of shuffling particles one sees as they zone off into the distance. She had flown well past the horizon by now, and could only see those far-off lands beyond her view. It could have lasted forever, were it not for
“Shit!”
She kicked the brake hard and swerved. The Humvee lurched and swayed violently, threatening to topple before resting on all fours as it ground to a halt.
Time stopped. She didn’t dare move, she didn’t dare blink. Shivering in shock, she looked over, worried half to death over what she almost hit.
It was a Mustang. She was black, a slender fastback with a little dust on her, but no worse for wear thank God. She got out and darted over to the car, all the terror of having rundown a stray animal crawling up inside of her. She looked the machine over, gently patting the hood with her trembling gloved hands.
“Gee, you’re far out here, ain’t ya Girl,” she smiled softly, “Wonder where your driver is.”
“Right over here,” came the call.
She looked to the sands in the distance, well past the muscle car, and there stood a gray. Clad in black, with tan work boots kicking up dust in a light sprint, her image reflected in his jet-black shades. She hesitated, the faint visage of her black-eyed demons in the back of her mind. His sheathed eyes left her holding one hand over her holster as he drew nearer and nearer.
But then he spoke.
“Hope she didn’t scare you. Was just out here on a drive, thought I spotted some ruins worth jotting down.”
His enunciation was crystal clear, no drawl to speak of. It was the warmest voice she’d ever heard. And in a way, the warmest face she had ever met.
Slowly, she pulled herself and her words together, stammering a bit before saying, “I just didn’t want to hurt her. Got kinda lost. In thought that is.”
“Well, no harm no foul.”
He could see her shaking still, the blushing sensation filling her with embarrassment.
“How about I take you to my shack? Get you a cup of tea, help you ease the nerves? Honest Miss, everything’s alright.”
Even the gesture brought forth a silent standoff within her. For God’s sake, she just met the man and was already being brought into his home. There wasn’t any noble exchange, no “you saved me, I saved you.” If anything, the refusal to admonish only tripled her suspicions.
Yet in a moment, all was diffused.
The stranger lowered his shades, revealing eyes that could stop the hands of time dead in their eternal march. They had strong eyes. Serene eyes. They were the most arresting brown eyes she’d ever seen.
“Alright” she said, gazing deeper within.
“Follow us.”
In a flash, he hopped behind the Mustang’s wheel and turned her over. Her engine was pristine, a healthy roar in her as the beast flew off and away. Valentina got back into the Humvee and with a twist of the key and a kick of the throttle, brought him up to speed. The tan machine soared close behind as the stranger guided them through the drifting dunes, across the rougher terrain.
Before her was the desert she had yet to see. The sands held within them an orange glow, untouched by the weathering scorch of the sun. It wasn’t grass, but the Martian quality carried with it the richness of flora so missed by the land. Even the cacti seemed rejuvenated in its presence.
The journey brought them to a small wooden house sat upon a hill. Single story, borderline single room too, safe for the garage on the side. With it came the faint scent of hazel filling the air. The fragrance filtered through the air conditioning of the Humvee as they approached.
“Beautiful, ain’t it Bud?”
The Humvee could only rumble in quiet agreement as Val drank it in.
“Come on in,” came a tap at her window.
The stranger helped his guest down from her steed and into the house. The orange sand she walked upon felt soft and light. Fine was the word for it; the finest sand she had ever sunk her wandering claws into.
When the door opened, the cabin revealed was nothing to turn your nose up at either. Though the scent was hazel, the wood was oak clear as day. Or at least a synthesized form, though she never cared to split the hairs on the matter. Oak tables, chairs, even an oak-paneled television, albeit a small one.
“She’s sanctuary,” he smiled softly.
Val turned to look at him. A grin of her own curled across her face, eyes locked with his for what felt like ages. The silence came a touch awkward, broken by the stranger’s perplexed chuckle.
“I haven’t told you yet, have I?”
Valentina braced herself.
What, did he have a wife, a hot date, some nice harlot who dwelled in this fine little home of his?
She caught herself before descending deeper into the thought.
What the hell am I doing!? You’re better than this Val, pull your dumb ass together you stupid bit—
“The name’s Brennus.”
Those three words were all it took to snap her right out of it.
“And yours,” he nodded.
She stuttered on the V for what felt like an eternity before the word “Valentina” left her lips.
“Strong, yet lovely,” he observed. He went off to start fixing a kettle before finishing his thought, “Powerful little lady, aren’t you?”
Valentina chuckled.
“In a way, yes,” she smiled, “So’s the name Brennus.”
“Powerful or lovely?”
“Both,” she blurted out, a nervous “uh” clinging to her lips.
“Take a seat, ease your mind,” he soothed, “Trust me, that ‘70 Ford’s been through worse. She’s a tough nut to crack, really.”
Val took her seat. What began as a cup of tea, dark and rich, grew into a full meal before her, as savory and as rekindling as anything she’d ever had with her old man. The sun dimmed into darkness, and in a matter of minutes, hours had passed.
She couldn’t stop looking at Brennus all the while. The way he carried himself, the way he cooked, the diligence. Something about him held her attention. His features were fine yet firm, his demeanor soft yet stable. A wolf of incalculable contradictions.
When it came time for true conversation, she had to draw the words out of him, but when they arrived, they tickled her ears with a timbre all their own.
“Long road to where I sit,” Brennus humbly intoned, “Lotta trekking beforehand, but me and the Duchess made our little patch where we wanted it to be.”
“Wish I could say the—”
Valentina caught herself, drawing breath as she recalled the airy days with Marcus and Sabina.
“I’m staying with two wonderful friends right now,” she smiled.
“Always good to have them,” he nodded in kind.
The conversation took many courses, soon landing on the topic of professions.
“You’ve got that tiger on your bracelet,” Val pressed, “Why’s that?”
“She’s a symbol I’ve come to admire in my craft,” came the reply, “A sort of independence and cunning I’ve come to rely on. When I fight, when I hunt, when I drive.”
“Fight?”
Val couldn’t imagine the gray hurting a fly. Brennus sensed this, amused.
“I’ve done some of the local tournaments. I instruct too from time to time, but that’s Boss Kusanagi’s jurisdiction, not mine. We spar for fun though, him and I. Kick each other’s asses all the time.”
He chuckled to himself before continuing.
“But yeah, I was a street fighter, but I’ve studied more than martial arts. I’ve been working in meditation for...goodness, going on ten years next month.”
“How do you do it all?” she giggled, “I’ve never seen someone stay as calm as you. You could burn yourself and no one would hear a yelp.”
“Practice,” he stated plainly, “Practice and patience, the best cocktail there is in my field. Patience for the energy and its cultivation, patience for the prey, and practice in the motions. You haven’t time for either, have you?”
Val blushed.
“Well, I do, it’s just that I haven’t the patience for, well, patience. Everything has to come out, happen now, and get done.”
“You don’t strike me as such,” he observed.
Val went sullen for a spell.
“I was, at a time. Something kinda changed that in me.”
“Maybe...maybe I can help,” Brennus smiled.
“I dunno if you can,” she dejectedly intoned.
Brennus reached his hand out, only for her to shy away on instinct. The resistance stabbed sharp as a pin within her.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean it like this. I just...”
She trailed off into her turmoil, the muttering of “God it’s been weeks hasn’t it” escaping her. Try as she might, she couldn’t hold it back. Whatever it was. The months that had wracked her with an electric buzz of brutality, the bodies crushed under her wheels, the trigger-pulls that bought aggressors a one-way trip to the grave. It had her in a vice.
In an instant, her mind flooded with the blood she had drawn, the crimson trail traced all the way back across the dunes, back into those cursed streets and that awful arena. It stood an ocean upon which she could only look and cry.
Brennus crouched down beside her and held the stranger tight.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me” were the only words she could get out.
“It’ll be alright,” he hushed, “Allow me in, I’ll help. I can draw you out of it, whatever it is.”
Valentina looked him in the eyes, her primal mind cleaved by his look of care.
She wanted it so damn bad. To be rid of it all wholesale and move onto whatever the hell there was after. She thought herself a damned fool to be acting this way in front of a...a stranger.
This man was no stranger.
In those few moments, the gray had become a familiar face. Someone who really cared. She saw a touch of Eric in his eyes as she broke away to look him over. He was kind, he was welcoming. He held her at a time she didn’t know what to do, what she was doing. It was in that moment that she realized, by God, he really did care.
In an instant, primal gave way to carnal, and a kiss slipped from her lips onto his. She sat shocked by herself before turning away, embarrassed. Fear and shame washed over her mind, berating her for the act, for having let herself get close to anything or anyone. The compulsions throughout the day had grown to horrify her, the horror of having lost control herself the greatest terror of all.
Yet Brennus wouldn’t let her turn away.
“Val,” he whispered, “You can’t hurt me. I’ll be here for you. You just have to let me in.”
The white wolf fell into the gray’s embrace, weak with passion. She could sense he knew, but any idea of how he could’ve known the thoughts swirling about her head, how he could know it was the violence she feared, all vanished with the warmth of his body touching hers.
He neither advanced nor receded in his intimate expression. He merely held her, caressing her to soothe in whatever way he could. Slowly, he felt the nip at his neck, and he too began to relish in her affection.
When she hit the bed, it all erupted into a fountain of romance.
In the blur of hours, the full moon rose high in the sky as Brennus lay with Val, the soft blanket cloistering her from all but his own body. By now, she had given up apologizing, her lover still holding her close.
“I’ve dealt with types like you before,” he chuckled, playfully nuzzling her in the blue of the evening.
He could sense her quizzical gaze, though he never locked eyes with it.
“I’ve got a way to ease your pain if you’d let me.”
Valentina wanted to bristle, but she couldn’t. She nodded gently as she cozied up to Brennus’ chest.
“What did you have in mind?”
The gray wolf smiled.
“We go for a drive.”
He had finished wrapping the gauze around her right hand before taking a seat on the passenger side. The Mustang was cooled by the evening breeze as Valentina sat behind the wheel. Every inch of her white fur was on full display; a detail she still wasn’t sure about.
“We’re working to alleviate primal urges,” he said softly, “That means returning to an ancestral state of being for a moment.”
It made sense, but the bulging discomfort in the back of her mind grew nonetheless. Brennus thumbed her cheek with care.
“We’re alone out here,” he soothed, “No one will find you indecent. I’m at least meeting you halfway myself.”
He chuckled as he pointed to the only garment on him, his shorts. She couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of both him and herself.
“It’s simple really,” he continued, “Keep your pads on the surfaces at all times. When you’re in the state, you won’t be able to come out until I make contact.”
She nodded as she twisted the key of the Mustang, engine roaring to life. She placed her right paw on the throttle, the left on the clutch, the sensation cooling but never cold. Her left forepaw met the steering wheel, and her right the gearshift. As she felt the evening’s cool through all fours, a thought rang clear across her mind.
It’s just like the cell.
As the realization dawned on her, she looked back to Brennus one last time, shades of nervousness all over her.
“You’ll see things...feel things. These things are transient. They are the troubling sensations as they slip away. It may hurt, but the clarity afterwards will be immense.”
Brennus kissed her one last time before she descended into the state.
“Enjoy the freedom as it arrives.”
She dug into the clutch and brought the car to top gear. She drew three deep breaths before pinning the throttle down.
Then came everything.
Claws and pins sunk deep into the rubber of the pedals and the leather of the steering wheel. Her spine straightened, limbs stiffened, and her pupils constricted into nothing, the whites of her eyes glowing. In her embedded state came the roar of time upon her, memory after agonizing memory, goring upon goring, every shred of ancient rage, fiendish thought, wanton lusting. The cacophony came with the sounds of spaces recurrent, the voices of all the cruelest, most hideous thoughts leaping at her from the dark.
Then came the thoughts of the Colosseum. She could see the visages of the grays with their spears slip, the audience vanish into a black hole of nothingness, the blood that ran red upon the sands evaporating. She wanted to be rid of it, and yet in her trance state cried “STOP STOP STOP! GODDAMNIT, DON’T GO!”
The cry of “Go” echoed in perpetuity, the run-out groove of her mind slamming the words against her skull, the gray matter, the backs of her eyes, the edges of her ears. The word “Go” rattled the cage to no end as she let rip a banshee cry. No words, no meaning, just a primordial scream for peace, for relief, for...darkness.
The mind’s eye went black. Nothing. No feeling, no memories. No pain, no joy.
Empty.
Until a voice came clawing up from the abyss.
“My beautiful, you’ve made a great step in recovery.”
Slowly, the world swam up from the vortex, and the first thing Valentina saw was Brennus. She saw a gray who sat startled, impressed, and mortified all at once.
“What was that” she asked in her glazed-over state.
“Dolor Evanescens,” he sighed, holding her close, “Trick of texture and mind.”
“How much have I lost?”
“Only as much as you could,” he answered, “But you held on to some thoughts. Why?”
Valentina rose, feebly, and looked Brennus deep in his eyes.
“Those were all I knew of it. Without them, we haven't any way of finding it.”
“What is it?”
Valentina stammered once more, the “C” forming a chattering of her teeth.
“Colosseum.”
Brennus bore a look of sorrow he had not felt in ages. It was knowing, and it was deep.
Valentina wanted to scream, lash out, rue him for having turned against her, against her plight to destroy the hellish chamber where she once sat, caged and brutalized. Yet she couldn’t. In an instant, she realized the release valve she had been treated to.
Her rage had been tempered.
She looked to Brennus softly, a warmth returning to her voice as she reached out from the near-catatonia.
“It’s not that I don’t want your help or that I don’t want to be rid of it all dammit, but...I need that pain. I need to see what it is we’re after. I need to turn it into something we can use.”
“We,” ventured Brennus.
“I’m...not alone in this. I know someone who...shit, if you think I’m bad now, he’s in worse shape.”
“You’re not only in his company,” came the quiet reply.
Drawn from the glove box was a pair of leather sandals. Dark brown straps that gracefully wove around one another. Valentina looked to Brennus, and he to her.
“I went through the hell of it, and I went through the hell of undoing it. Eric helped me with the undoing. He sat where I am now. I had hoped some romancing would’ve eased you into it.”
Valentina held Brennus close.
“Do you remember any of it?”
The gray sighed and shook his head.
“Only...the name.”
She didn’t know what to say.
“Aremort I believe was the phrase...it was on the announcer’s tongue anyways.”
Valentina whispered tenderly into his ear.
“Come with me. Be the rock to anchor me. To anchor us. We can unlock the memories, use them, and you can keep us whole. I just...I don’t want to live in madness. Sometimes I don’t want to live at all. I kill and I can’t stand the way it makes me feel. It feels good. Too damn good.”
Brennus looked at Valentina and locked lips with her once more. She wept into near-silence as he held tight to her, like she could ascend into the sky at any moment.
“Let me help you live then,” he soothed, “I saw you in the mirror every time I awoke. I saw you for years. I don’t want you to see that anymore.”
She looked into his eyes as they held each other close. Neither let go. Neither felt they could. And in their undying devotion, a single thought crossed Valentina’s mind.
I think I found our missing piece, Marcus.